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IGN is reporting that there may be a Dexter game in the works. There’s no possible way this could end well.
For those of you who don’t know, Dexter is a TV series based on a series of books by Jeff Lindsay. Dexter (the character) is a charming blood spatter analyst in the Miami Metro PD who just happens to moonlight as a serial killer (although he only kills other killers). In my opinion, Dexter is the best TV series since House, and I love the books as well (halfway through the third one at the moment). That’s why I’m dreading the release of a Dexter game: There’s no way they can pull it off.
Why? Because Dexter doesn’t fall into any existing genre. At best, we’ll probably see some sort of Splinter Cell/Metal Gear clone that just barely manages to be playable. There’s no way you can turn a story about a guy who spends his evenings vivisecting people into a good game, and still get under the ‘rated M’ requirements.
If I had to design the game, you can bet that it would get an AO rating. It would be simple: The game would consist of a bunch of Dexter sneaking around a la Solid Snake, until he reaches the bad guy, at which point he knocks him out and drags him back to his lair. At this point, the game would switch to a Trauma Center style game, where you’d get extra points for doing the most excruciating amounts of damage before the victim expires. Of course, there’s no way any reputable retailer would carry such a game, and Jack Thompson would fly into a sputtering rage at the very suggestion. Still, I feel that my version would correctly capture the atmosphere of the books and TV show, even though it would obviously never be made in such a way. Such a gruesome game should never see the light of day anyway.
Here’s hoping whatever the game devs do crank out doesn’t suck.
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